1:1 Love can be expressed through song and music. 1:2 Love inherently desires reciprocal action from the object of its affections. It has the ability to stimulate the senses more than intoxicating substances. Love recognizes a value beyond that of the material. It can be expressed through acts of affection, such as through kissing or caressing. Simply experiencing love is not enough; equally important is who expresses that love. 1:3 Love gives without expectation. It gives out of a desire to express love and to bless. 1:4 True love can have a lasting effect. When other things are long since forgotten, the impact of having been loved by someone can last a lifetime. 1:5 Love, in the context of marriage, allows for the appreciation of qualities, which can include physical attributes. The Shulamite recognizes this. 1:6 Genuine love allows one to look past the things it finds unpleasant to focus on what really matters. 1:7 Love is willing to be vulnerable – it shares its thoughts of affection with the one it loves. Love desires to be with those whose relationships are valued. 1:8 Love invites love and does not neglect. 1:9 Love recognizes the inherent beauty in the one it loves. 1:10 Love notices the small things that might otherwise go unnoticed. Love pays attention. 1:11 Love puts forth its best effort, desiring to give the very best it has, because, second best will not suffice. 1:13 Love wants to be close to the one who is the object of its affection. 1:14 Love can be like the sweet aroma of flowers. 1:15 Love compliments. It reinforces and reaffirms. It builds up and doesn’t tear down. 1:16 Love acknowledges the strong parts of the relationship, the qualities and the beautiful parts. Yet, love is also willing to have an honest discussion concerning shortcomings.
2:1 Love is distinguished from other emotions in its words and deeds. 2:2 Love involves risk, and sometimes in the search for love there is pain. If it is strong enough, love can survive even in the most difficult environments. Love seeks to protect that which it loves and values. 2:3 True love bears the fruit of love: It is considerate and humble. It protects and comforts. 2:4 Love desires the involvement of the one who is loved in its activities. It seeks to please the one loved. It is not self-absorbed; instead, it is concerned with the well-being of others. It is outwardly focused as opposed to inwardly focused. 2:5 Love must be maintained. It cannot sustain itself. Like a fire, it must be fed - with the fruit of love’s attention. 2:6 Love supports and holds up. It draws near and doesn’t push away. It seeks to include rather than exclude. 2:7 Love can wait patiently. Love trusts. It chooses to believe the good and dwell on the positive. 2:8 Love is exciting. 2:10 Love pays compliments and speaks kindly. 2:11 Love is always ready to begin anew; to make a new start or try again. It is willing to put the past behind and move forward. 2:12 Love gives reason to rejoice. I can rejoice in the love God has shown toward me. He has made His love known through His Son, Jesus, and He demonstrated that love while I was dead in my sin (Rom.
3:1 Love is experienced through intimacy in the covenant of marriage. Love is that feeling that causes us to miss the person we care about when they are away, and it produces rejoicing when we see them again. 3:11 Love is seen and declared in its most powerful public display through the wedding ceremony. It is in this beautiful ceremony that love from the heart is pledged for all to hear. Good times and bad, true love accepts them both. True love keeps its word. The heart filled with love is a heart full of gladness.
4:1 Love speaks with gentleness. 4:7 The words of love build up and encourage. 4:9 Love causes feelings inside the human heart more powerful than any other. 4:12 Love is respectful. It considers the great value of relationships before making decisions. It considers the consequences if those decisions are wrong. Love seeks to preserve that which it has. 4:15 Love makes life worth living.
5:2 Love brings about celebration. 7:1-10 Love can stir passion in the heart. 8:6 Love is as strong and stronger than death: As much as death can take away life, love can give life (Jn. 3:16 “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.”). 8:7 Real love can survive impossible challenges. Love promotes resolve and binds together those who have it. Love is so valuable that no amount of money can purchase it. No collateral can adequately secure its worth. Love truly is priceless.
I asked three people to comment on what they thought concerning the meaning of love. Their responses are included below followed by a brief analysis.
First up is Joan, who states:
Most people think love is sweet baby kisses, wagging puppy dog tails, a bouquet of roses, or a syrupy-sweet card to a loved one. As I get older, I am seeing love from a different angle. It is when I am so mad at my husband that I don't want to even see his face, but I go where he is anyway, and apologize to him for being so mean--even though I know at that moment that I WAS right.
Love is choosing the smaller of the two leftover chocolate chip cookies so he can have the big one. Love is not being able to even remember why I was so mad at him the other day--really, I seriously can't remember the reason.
Love has become the thought not spoken that we both understood from the look. Love takes time to become. Love is being so at home with each other no matter where you are, that quiet is just as comfortable as talking used to be. Love is knowing that no matter what comes along my sweetie will choose me. God chose me that same way. He took the cross for me. He rose for me. He ascended to the Father for me. He loves me. He loves me. He loves me!
That feeling of security is what we all crave. Love offers that feeling, but we don't choose it most of the time because it doesn't look good. Love is definitely not that rose filled vase, diamonds, or a puppy. Love is choosing to overlook the “yuck reality” and believing in the promise. When I believe the promises my sweetie made to me on our wedding day I am happy, secure and full of love. When I believe the promises God made to me, love just happens.
Analyzing Joan’s Answer:
She begins by stating what love is not and proposes that it is something much more significant. Her understanding of love contains several components.
She begins by stating what love is not and proposes that it is something much more significant. Her understanding of love contains several components.
The first one is humility. Her willingness to humble herself and be the first to seek reconciliation demonstrates that she understands how to love in the midst of tension and division (Eph 4:32 Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.). In a similar way, it is God, who being pure and innocent of any wrongdoing, pursues the sinners heart for the purpose of reconciliation. Even though the sinner is responsible for the broken relationship, God pursues and seeks restoration because of His love for those He created.
The second component of love found in Joan’s reply is that of unselfishness. In choosing the smaller of the cookies for herself, so that her husband can have the larger ones, she is living out Romans 12:10b “…give preference to one another in honor.” Love is honoring others above yourself when there is no requirement to.
A third component of love noted in her reply is that of forgiveness. Joan states that love is “not being able to even remember why I was so mad at him…” In 1 Cor. 13:5b, we are told that love “does not take into account a wrong suffered…” Likewise, God’s love for us is seen in His willingness to forgive and forget. Isa. 1:18 “Come now, and let us reason together,” says the Lord, “Though your sins are as scarlet, they will be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they will be like wool.” In addition, from Isa. 43:25 “I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake; And I will not remember your sins.”
Joan’s experience has taught her that love can be conveyed without words, through a mutual tender gaze into the eyes of her husband. In Mat. 19:21, the scripture tells of the encounter between Jesus and the rich young ruler. It states, “Then Jesus, looking at him, loved him…” Jesus’ look was a look of love toward this man. He loved him while looking at him. Surely, it was a tender, loving gaze.
Joan understands that love takes time to grow, and that time spent together builds trust, and trust results in security. In this environment, where trust and security exist, love flourishes.
For Joan, love is about humility, unselfishness, forgiveness, trust, and security.
Next up is Ken, who states:
Of course, we cannot know what love is without knowing the originator and source who is Jesus Christ - our God - the lover of our souls. So, to find the answer we must search the Word of God because it is the only place to find what is Love.
First, we could not love God or love our neighbor unless God loved us first. “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” (1 John 4: 7-12)
There is no end to the number of scripture references that speak of God's love toward us as in John 3:16, Romans 5:8, and 1 John 4:19. The best description of love in practice toward our neighbors that I know of is in 1 Corinthians 13.4-8 “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”
Jesus said that the world would recognize His followers by their love for one another. "By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."(John 13:35)
Unfortunately, love is growing cold in our culture as Jesus said, "Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved. (Matthew 24:12-13)
I know this is mostly quoting the Word of God, notice all are from the New Testament as well, but this is the only way I know to describe what is love.
Analyzing Ken’ Answer:
Ken is right about the foundation required for understanding the real meaning of love. If we do not know God, it really is impossible to understand love, at least as God desires for us to understand it. “The world” has its own perverted view of what love is. However, love, in its pure and unpolluted form, can only be understood through God. 1 John 4:1 describes it this way: “We have come to know and have believed the love which God has for us. God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.”
Ken is right about the foundation required for understanding the real meaning of love. If we do not know God, it really is impossible to understand love, at least as God desires for us to understand it. “The world” has its own perverted view of what love is. However, love, in its pure and unpolluted form, can only be understood through God. 1 John 4:1 describes it this way: “We have come to know and have believed the love which God has for us. God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.”
Therefore, to know love is to know God. The two are not mutually exclusive but inclusive and integral. In fact, God and love are indistinguishable. God is love because He is its source.
Ken then argues the point that “to find the answer we must search the Word of God.” Here, too, Ken is right on. Since what we know of God is based on His Word, if we want to understand love, we must get to know God, and therefore, get to know His Word.
Ken makes another great point concerning love when he states, “we could not love God or love our neighbor unless God loved us first.” Our ability to love others the way God loves us - with an agape type of love – is only because God initiated the first move in reconciliation (But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (Eph. 2:4-5)). God, indeed, loved us first, and those who have a relationship with Christ, are also alive in Christ, and have His Holy Spirit abiding in them. This allows us to “love our neighbor” with the love of Christ.
Finally, we have Trina’s thoughts about love:
Real love comes from the heart, not your head. You can think you love someone, or are in love with someone, but real love is in your heart. You would be willing to lay down your life to save the people you truly love. Jesus gave his life for us. I have no idea if a husband or wife would give their own life for the other, if it came down to it. However, as a mother, I would give my life for either one of my sons in a heartbeat.
Analyzing Trina’s Answer:
She recognizes that love is something more than an intellectual position that one holds concerning another human being. She associates love with the heart, and believes that the heart is the seat of love.
She recognizes that love is something more than an intellectual position that one holds concerning another human being. She associates love with the heart, and believes that the heart is the seat of love.
Trina’s view of love includes a moral component of self-sacrifice. In her reply, the measure she employs to determine true love, is the willingness on the part of one person to lay down his/her life for another. If a person is unwilling to do that, then his/her love is probably not true love. This caused me to consider the following verse from Romans 5:7 “For one will hardly die for a righteous man; though perhaps for the good man someone would dare even to die.”
Then, as an example of the ultimate example of true love, she points to Jesus’ own sacrifice. In this, I am reminded of the Apostle Paul’s words in Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Undoubtedly, God chose what He knew would be the most powerful example of love that He could ever communicate to us -- self-sacrifice through His Son.
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