Recently, I was involved in a conversation with another
Christian who suggested that I was judging him.
The conversation actually began over the topic of people who are
unmarried and living together. We both
know of a third party who is involved in a relationship like this and were
discussing the potential challenges for them moving forward if repentance doesn’t
take place.
The conversation shifted when I asked this unmarried person about something in their life. I was aware of a relationship they, too, were involved in that had included overnight stays. Immediately the pushback began: “I don’t think that’s any of your business….don’t [be] judging me!”
The conversation shifted when I asked this unmarried person about something in their life. I was aware of a relationship they, too, were involved in that had included overnight stays. Immediately the pushback began: “I don’t think that’s any of your business….don’t [be] judging me!”
Why is it that so many Christians believe that by asking
them about a specific area of their life that isn’t in conformity with God’s
word that somehow you’re “judging” them?
Is there so little accountability being practiced today that
it has become a foreign concept to many in the church and therefore suspect to
being an action of condemnation?
I reminded this person of our responsibility as Christians
to challenge one another to live godly lives and that biblical discipleship is every believer’s personal
responsibility. In Galatians 2, Paul
directly confronts Peter over his hypocrisy.
Nathan confronts David over his sin (2 Sam 12). To the church in Galatia, Paul writes, “Brethren,
if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one
in a spirit of gentleness…” (Gal. 6) In
Hebrews 10:24-25 we read, “And let us consider one another in order to stir up
love and good works….exhorting one another….”
To the church in Rome
It couldn’t be more clear. These exhortations from Scripture
(along with many others) tell us to disciple one another, and that includes
addressing sin (Mat. 18:15-17). This is
not a ministry exclusive to pastors / elders, but one involving every member of
the church.
After sharing some of this with this fellow Christian, it
was evident he remained in a defensive posture and unappreciative of being
challenged to examine his walk. Instead,
he offered more pushback. When asked
about discipleship and accountability within his own church fellowship, he
replied that people in his church “only show grace.”
It was clear that - in his mind - discipleship and
accountability were somehow inconsistent (if not opposite!) with showing
grace. Have we misunderstood the command to “make disciples” as only the act of winning a soul to Christ and not also helping one another to make continued biblical change towards Christlikeness?
It’s not fun to be confronted with sin (I know!), but when
we understand the importance and purpose then we should actually welcome
it!
Well-known pastor, John MacArthur, writes of a time when
someone confronted him about sin: “When I
received a letter from someone who noticed something wrong in my life, I wrote
back to him asking for his forgiveness and thanking him for bringing it to my
attention. If something is wrong in my life, I want to know it. But if someone
doesn’t tell me because he or she is afraid to, I’m apt to keep making the same
mistake. Everyone in a church should have that kind of accountability with one
another so that everyone’s life is pure. Husbands and wives especially should
hold one another accountable. It isn’t right for anyone’s sinfulness to be
tolerated. Anyone in sin should be lovingly confronted.” 1
MacArthur is right.
We need to be willing to be challenged in our walk and honest about sin
in our lives. Having these conversations
with a Christian friend while using the Scriptures as the source for informing
our minds, correcting our thoughts, and guiding our actions (2 Tim. 3:16) will
result in growth and maturity so that we become more like Christ. That after all is the goal of discipleship!
Berg writes, “If you
are uninvolved in personal discipleship, is it because you think the problems
of others are “none of your business”? Somehow this position of neutrality
sounds justified, but often it is merely a way to protect ourselves from the
vulnerability that comes in ministry to others (e.g., “If I challenge him about
his problem, he will point out some problems and inconsistencies he knows about
my life” or “If I try to help him, he will ask some questions I don’t know how
to answer”). No matter what our
argument, God intends to use this vulnerability to stimulate us to further
change and growth ourselves. Avoidance
of the responsibility to biblically challenge others is a sure way to remain a
spiritual baby.” 2
Berg makes a very interesting argument here in establishing
a link between a Christians’ progressive sanctification and his involvement in
challenging others to live biblically also.
Have you considered how your maturity in Christ might be effected
through the process of biblically challenging others?
Don’t wave-off the ministry of discipleship as something
only for pastors / elders. While those
who serve in that office must be involved in personally discipling others (Luke
15:4-7, 2 Tim. 2:2, Eph. 4:11-12), so too should every Christian.
A characteristic of a church full of mature believers is the
ability of the whole congregation, not just the pastor, to care for the souls
of those in the body. 3
Let’s embrace the ministry of discipleship and
accountability as taught in the Scriptures so that we grow together in Christ,
maturing in the faith. If a fellow
Christian brings to your attention a concern about your life, consider for a
moment that you’re not being “judged” – only challenged.
By grace, through faith,
Ranzall Cox
- John
MacArthur, The Master’s Plan for the
Church (1991, Moody Publishers) p.47
- Jim
Berg, Changed Into His Image (1999,
BJU Press) p.20
- Ernie Baker, Answers Magazine (Oct-Dec 2012) p.81
I think you're right on.
ReplyDeleteTim MillsapsJune 7, 2014 at 9:04 AM
ReplyDeleteWell said Ranzall. I have very little greater concern than for the push back among the brethren in calling each other up to a holier life. "Don't Judge Me" is the catch all phrase for those who wish to remain in obvious sin. I simply remind them, I'm not judging you, I'm sharing with you what God has already judged on the matter. You won't stand before me, you will stand before Him. He loves you enough to already have told you how He will judge the matter. I'm just showing you in His Word what His judgment will be. (In fact, already is) Great article on discipleship, prayerfully many will embrace it's content.